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some others are just saying that i'm over-reacting or over-sensitive. but i'm very sure that i'm not cos this don't just happen once. seriously, i swear to god that i did try not to care nor think and just accept things the way they are. but i can't. cos i know that i cared for you way too much. thou i did not to want anytning in return, i did not want things to turn out this way. i know that in the eyes of many, i'm being unreasonable. i'm not avoiding to talk about this with you but i just feel that we no longer understand one another. in my opinion, i feel that something very wrong is going on. yet, you feel that everything's perfectly alright. i don't know. and in the eyes of him, its my fault and blamed me. well, i understand why.

and i'm really afraid things will just remain this way or might be even worse.

wasn't in the right mood recently. i mean, this ain't the kind of girl that i should behave like.

i'm wondering.. what's happening to us? somehow or rather, i feel that you ain't the one whom i knew earlier. everything seemed to change. you are telling me this yet you are showing me that. the reason that you give was this and the things that you are showing is that. i'm just wondering that should i just believe you just like how i did before or see from your actions? sighs. i dunno how to explain any further nor bring the topic up to you. when i tried to hint, you gave me reasons that sounds like excuses. and i tried not to care but i simply can't do it. i'm wondering whether peeps around us know what's happening. maybe they don't. and just feel that i'm a super emo attitude freak. whatever, say me a pampered brat. i don't care. i just feel that things have changed. and am i gonna keep quiet any further? i don't know.

currently i'm at alvin's site and yeah, its big and dirty. he's off with jos doing his stuffs and i'm left alone in the office with his engineer and staffs. weird thou. and the worst thing of all is that i', still in my uniform. and i see that tamil girl whom jos was talking about. and i skip afternoon class just to accompany alvin. sweet of me ehs? (:

just hoping that things will become better.. that is just what i ask for. but it seems so hard..

WILL YOU:
be the one to bring me out of my past and show me the future?
be my baby to shower me with all your love and care?
be my honey to assure me when i'm having my doubts?
be me dear to walk the road with me till the very end?
be the sun when my day is grey?
be the rainbow that fill my life up with colours?


feeling so not right and unstable.
all i need is assurance to make me feel complete.
all i want is to go back to the past where i feel so right about you.

well, doesn't really have the time to blog recently. so some pics are up. (:


the problem..


and i solved it. (: