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and I will bitch bout' anything I please.
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im trying, and im tired.
its nothing.
im trying hard, harder,
im tired,
it changes nothing,
you thought im still the same.
ive tried to hide d choking voice,
with tears in those weary eyes,
still, it ends with a nasty bye.
my phone lies beside, as quiet as can be,
a call back that awaits, i thought,
but i know, we'd long kissed the good old days goodbye.
so, with a fluttery heart and mind,
closed my eyes and prayed to get some sleep tonight.
it seems like my mind can't stop,
memories and tears last me thru' the night.
finally when i managed to have some peace,
its a brand new day.

im always thinking too much,
thank you.
i just can't help it,
im sorry, again.

loves, eli.

16 May 2009

well, this post is meant for yesterday.
wanna blog bout' my beloved bby!
cause he has been a really sweet and thoughtful love. (:
he accompanied me till real late ytd [2+]; which explains why i didnt blog and i was too tired to on my lappy/desktop. so just typed everything out in hp and literally copy it in here now!
to some people, it maybe still early,
but for me, its late!
WHY? cause bby gotta wake up early the next day and go to punggol to fly his heli.
and he needa get enough sleep if not, lose of concentration will risk his chances of colliding his heli, which will costs mini 100 for the repair and damages.

so anyway, went ps to shop around with bby.
went la senza and quite disappointed; cause amongst all the lingerie,
i think there's only one piece that looks good.
the rest looks rather sloppy and auntie, or should i say,
not the kind i would like.
bought a stitch photo album [got cheated!].
anyway, after that,
went to pick rufus and jo up and headed to jln kayu for beancurd.
efren came down and went fishing at upp seletar reservoir.
like the first time i'd been there,
it turns out to be macdonald supper picnic!
we ate like hungry hamsters. (:
don't be surprised that mac actually delivers there cause it delivers there before too.
when ros [if that's how its spelled] was there and caught a cricket?
and the dudes used that as a bait? lol.
even though the bag of baits dropped into the water,
they used the lure [lightstick can be a lure too, according to efren. but it didnt managed to lure any fish] and seems like there's a fish on bait [when the bell rings],
by the time rufus reached for efren's fishing rod and to reel it back, which is just in front of us,
the fish swam away. see what i mean by hungry hamsters? LOL.
and im happily singing all the nursery rhymes, [1, 2, 3, 4, 5; fishes, fishes in the sea, twinkle twinkle lil star etc]
a 24/7 preschool teacher yeh? *wide grins.

right, linked to work.
my beloved asher boy fell in school last friday!!
and had a terrible wound on his lips!
SUPER HEARTPAIN!! :(
when the bleeding stops, i can visibily see the wound [like part of the lips had fell out].
almost cried when i saw that.
well, i did- in bby's car when he picked me up from work.
can't help worrying and wondering how's he, sighs.
the hope of him promoting to playgroup is slight.
wonder what the parents' reaction will be when they saw the wound.
i left before the parents came cause bby was waiting for me outside my work.
hopefully, he will be fine and see him back in school on monday!
FYI: ASHER IS ONLY 17 MONTHS!!

Y appreciate bby's effort to stay up late cause i know he's alr tired and still gotta wake up early for his heli the next day
Y happy that bby gonna download games for me to play on his iphone! [his iphone is still in the same condition when you'd just bought it, the boring functions. and had no interest to do anything to his phone cause he believes that he can happily live with just msging and calling. after he had seen how engrossed i am playing with efren's iphone and telling him how i enjoyed myself when im playing my colleague's iphone, he agreed that he'll download games for me! HOOOORRRAYY!!]
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY i just love my bby boy!

ps: ive finally finished my art critiques!
p.ps: thanks marcus for accompanying me for dinner.
p.p.ps: getaway trip will be updated soon with pictures!

loves, eli.

i had a really sweet dream last night;
and i love it.
bless me w more tonight,
seeyou in my dreams. (:

loves, eli.

according to bby, TCS [talk cock session].
its fun webcam-ing with bby love!

if you've been paying attention to my previous post,
i'd mentioned bout planning.

yes, its planned and its happening this weekend.
the initial plan was sw and me.
but colleagues are joining.
better off with sw and me thou, we both agreed.
afraid of restrictions.

how i wish its a weekend with beloved.
gonna miss him, i know i will.

loves, eli.

ha! ive got a SHOCK of my LIFE today and im SO gonna blog bout' it.
fuck and scary, i say.

i was walking to the main road after work today.
as my center is located in a club, if you ever been to one,
you've to walk a certain distance to the main road.

was texting bby that ive just ended work and when i looked straight front ahead,
within split second, i saw an aged uncle fell down, just like that; some distance away.
i literally stood still, without moving.
when ive realised the uncle had fell down, i thought that it was just a normal fall with bruises.
thought that maybe i can just continue walking.
but hell no! standing still, i saw the uncle having difficulty standing up, trying to use as much strength as he could- with his head, limbs etc.
the poor uncle couldn't get up. i was like fuck, how?
for a moment, i just wanna continue walking but i know i simply can't.
i ran up to him, with a heavy shoulder bag, and lappy in my hands [HEAVY!] to check if he's alright.
he's mumbling and i couldnt hear.
i told him to lie down and not to move and i will get help.
when i managed to see his face, fuck, its bleeding.
BLOOD ON THE FLOOR WHERE HE FELL!
shitty and i know i can't possibly have the strength to help him out,
i ran to the club personnel, receptionist thingy,
and was catching my breath while telling this club uncle about it.
he was like, eh? then asked few qns, repeated myself and he turned to his colleagues.
luckily there's this younger guy who's there and after i told him,
he ran out of the counter and headed to the location.
i was walking back to the court and the club uncle [whom ive spoke to earlier] was jogging,
and i walked faster than him? lmao.
when the younger looking guy saw the injuries, shouted to the club uncle for a first aid kit.
he's still happily jogging towards the casualty and the guy looked pissed and shouted louder.
the club uncle u-turned back and headed for the first aid kit, i guess.
i approached them to see if they need any help, but the guy says its okay, they can handle it.
so i just walked away and headed to school.

on the way to school, i was thinking,
hey! im bloody a first aid trained personnel and why didnt i stay and help?
who knows if any of the club pple are trained in first aid or anyway?
at least im trained! but its childcare first-aid trained. its still FIRST AID TRAINED.
but on second thought, the trainer did not talk about what to do if the casualty's face is bleeding [except nosebleed].
we hafta lift the bleeding limb to avoid loss of blood.
am i supposed to tilt the head?
shit, im retarded.
luckily, i did not walk away.
who knows what may happen? he is around his 60s-70s i think?
fractured limbs or anything!
nobody may walk in and he might not hve been found.
hopefully, the uncle is well taken care of and had received the medical attention needed.
maybe i should called an ambulance? but what if those blood are just bruises?
to be exact, i didnt manage to get a good look on his injuries.
but for what i know, i saw a small puddle of blood on the floor!
OMGOMGOMG.
was bloody hell stun, shock, scared when i see the blood.
im like ALONE?! looked around and there's practically NO ONE!

should i be ashamed of myself that i did not help, given a first aider or be happy that ive managed to stay calm instead of fainting right beside the uncle?

i still can't believe it.

& school's getting better! with great companies, gorgeous ladies!
damn, they just enjoy disturbing me. o.O
when i told em' bout the accident, they gave me the omg face, ya trained?

&& im indeed first aid trained, not during my red cross days but just received training this year.
will scan the cert to prove!

loves, eli.