This is my blog,
and I will bitch bout' anything I please.
You may not know me, neither do I.
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shityo, i think i'm gonna spend the PH tmr at home doing assignments. yucks.
the thought of that really turns me off and i'm not looking forward to tmr either.
anyway, i'm so in LOVE with this boy, daphlan(if this is how its spelled)!
ultimate shy, ultimate handsome, ultimate obedient; makes an ultimate husband-in-law. lmao.
was telling my groupmates that i'm gonna woo him and make him marry me in the future. hahaha.
i know i'm being a lil biased over here, which is a nono in the line i'm in now.
but hey! he's ultimate man. so any exceptions please? (:

well, if you don't get what i'm ranting over here, our class were asked to do group assignment on development of the kids. my group was to find out the different physical development differences between the 2yearsold and the 4years old. so, we headed to Citikids Academy to do down our assignment.
christina, the supervisor, gave us 4 kids- 2 of the same age group each.
nicky and zhengyu belonged to the 2yearsold while ryan and daphlan belonged to the 4s.
in actual fact, zhengyu joined us on the second day, which is today.
he cried ytd and today, we tried again.
i bought biscuits for the kids, so i told him i would give him biscuits if he joined us.
and immediately, he came over and wants me to carry him. hahaha.
today we did our remaining tasks, which is riding of tricycles and playing at the playground.
thank god there is an indoor playground. we couldn't bring them outdoors due to HFMD.
as we need to have evidence, we took photos.
so while i was trying to take the photo when daphlan was climbing down the stairs, he jumped off the stairs.
i asked him if he could do it again as i need to take the photo, he said no.
so our conversation goes like this;

eli: daphlan, can you climb down the stairs again please cause i want to take photos.
daphlan: no.
eli: please?
d: no.
e: i really need those photos cause i need to show my teacher. its my homework. if you don't help me, no one can. then i will get scolding from my teacher. (i showed him a sad face)
he hesitated and replied a smilr: okay.

here is another conversation with the 4 years,the situtation was that we need to video down the 2 years while riding tricycles. daphlan and ryan were running pass the camera several times which made it hard for us to video the 2years.

e: can you two please stop running here and there? we need to video zhengyu and nicky.
they ignored me and continue running. i got their attention by approaching them and bringing them to one corner.
e: you guys don't run okay? we need to video nicky and zhengyu down. okay?
r: no.
e: i give you all biscuits, so don't run ok?
r: no.
e: you don't want biscuits?
both of them shake their head.
e: this is also my homework eh. i need to show it to my teacher. if you two run here and there, my teacher will see thru' the video. she will scold us, all of us here scare teacher scold us. are you scared?
r&d: yes.
e: ya, we also scare. so can you help us and sit down first?
r&d pointed to different directions and say: i sit there ok?
e: ok, thank you. i give you all biscuits after everything ok?
r&d: okay.
i promise them with my little fingers hooking theirs.

how cute can all these kids get?
of course, i gave nicky, ryan and daphlan biscuits.
i gave zhengyu stickers cause he has some allergy over biscuits.
then, stickers to other 3 too.
very fun and nice group of kids.
they just made my day but man, its really tiring.

i can never forget the very first time when we just met,
when we barely exchange glances and the fact that we didn't even talk.
the only impression you left on me that day at the pool center was your 'signature red reebok shorts'.
it was a few days after when we meet again, and that's when all the 'hero'-talks come in.
we meet up more often and then, you tried to call me the nickname that bart and marcus call me. and i know, you got a scolding from me for that. haha.
then, gotten my number from them when i don't even know. most importantly, i don't even know why i don't even care when i know that you've got my number.
rogue dark chocolates and all the messages. i didn't even suspect/wonder/think the impossible till your very special-unique way of confessions stunned me.
french toast breakfast- made of love, ice blended mocha from coffeebean (as i slept late the night before), the movie which makes me cry hard and the sunflowers which just 'pop out' from nowhere.
then, a very delicious 17th year old cream cake which i'm definitely gonna remember for life.
everything in our relationship is peaceful till some backstabbers and hypocrites tried to poke their noses into our business.
pieces of us fell apart and it came complete again.
everything changed and i know, i had fell deeper.
a cooldown period thereafter and here we are now, facing one very major problem together.
however, from this lesson, i believe we both learned and thankfully, we no longer argue over small little stuffs- which is a good thing. heh(:

yeh, if ya people know that; its me and bb's 11th monthsary! heh.
we've go till this far, facing many ups and downs together.
planning a big surprise for bb on our one-year anniversary. hohoho.
hope that its gonna be successful cause that bb of mine always see thru' my surprises. stupid, i know. =x
well, hope bb won't be booking in tmr.
XOXO.

when shit falls upon you, you will know who are the ones who are true to you.
mummy, being always the understanding lady.
cousins, never ending care and love.
bb, being always so sweet and patient.
sokwei, the ultimate blur with all the simple thinking and advice.
jolene, pouring me with never ending advice and calling to check if i'm doing fine.
jos, the funny one whom always make me laugh despite a rainy day.
rufus, just like an elder brother to me.
no matter how disappointing i am to them, they're always there.
and they are the only reason that keeps me going.
does a blessed and sheltered girl always gets all the shit?
well, i admit, i bring them upon myself.
i promise, if this ever happen again, i will be financially stable and yeh, hell no to whatever you barbarians are gonna comment or discriminate. yah know, its okay not to be educated. but where are your values? what an upbringing.
selfish parents, selfish thinking.
my decision might be what you wanted but it was all cause for my beloved ones, especially my mum.
as long as my mum is happy, i will always be happy. (:

anyway, did a lil shopping earlier and yeh, i spent like 300 in adidas? lol.
more shopping is to come and craving for a shopping spree!
oh, just shopped online at vs and jo, i'm waiting for ya order! (:

i'm having positive and negative thought bout' -youknowit-.
its just like BOOM! here i am, caught in this situation.

should i be selfish for once and continue being stubborn for everything?
am i ready to risk a relationship?
will i be capable enough to be responsible for my own decision?
am i calm enough to think bout' the pros and cons?
will i be tolerant enough to accept the traumatic change?
am i old enough to make my own decision?
i know, i should be responsible for my own actions and shouldn't push the blame and responsibility to anyone else, especially my beloved ones.
i'm already bloody hell 18 years, its neither young nor old.
but i'm always so pampered, protected and sheltered from everything.
i fear regrets again, i really do.

oh dear, what should i really do? -dilemma.
its like my dunno how many times having it. shucks, and this ain't good.
if all these continue, i'm really gonna suffer from depression.
man, can anyone recommend me a therapist?

i'm so not use to this new 19" monitor of mine.
its cool in some ways but hell no, i'm totally not use to it.
thank god i didn't upgrade it to a 22" one, i think i will die if i did.

anyway, this new module of mine is really killing me.
its more towards the science aspect like how the brain develops and the connection of neurons.
"synapse is a place where the neurons are connected. the more synapse one has, the more brainy it is." i don't think i have more than 10 neurons connected in my brain yah? lmao. hated science and now, it seems like i'm doing some biology shit yo. sighs.
ps: one of the reasons why eli is not in school AGAIN. i know i can't behave this way. well, i'm really trying.
right, this is the second module- early brain development. somehow or rather, i feel that the content contrasted with the first.
i've mentioned before that the first module is rgd'ing philosophy, history and tenents.
and in the second module, i've gotta learn bout' the theories the scientists had made and remember the names of the famous ones. fyi, there are 6 different theories and there are quite a number of the famous scientists when you add them together. kill me yah.
worse enough, there are two assignments for this module; group and individual.
kinda looking forward to the group assignment though. (:

i've just realised, i seldom blog when bb is out. haha.
too busy being with him i think. heh.
hohoho, 51 days more. should i be smiling or sad that its still a looooong way to go?
i know, some peeps might be thinking that 'hey, c'mon girl. its just 51days'.
but its really looooong if you're in my shoes dudes so,
God, can you please make the days pass quicker? please? :(

ps: skip this post, its real bored and senseless.

my sleeping hours seemed to be irregular again.
tried so hard to sleep at night yet i only managed to fall asleep in the morning.
my last eye-contact with my clock was 6:55am. how nice, though my school starts at 230pm, but eli needs to get a minimum 10-12 hours of sleep.
and so, eli is not in school today. (:

bb booked out and continue sleeping when he reached my place till like 5pm? lol.
went funan to get my desktop's speakers, wanted to get the altec lansing one thou.
got creative instead cause it looks better. yeh, looks does really matter. heh.
bb and jos is over my place and bb is watching american idol -nah, not my interest; and jos is helping me with me new desktop downloads to get my internet, webcam and printer working.
so pardon me for this boring post cause i don't intended to blog anyway.
just wanna pass my time so yeh. (:
bla bla bla, bye.

jos will definitely kill me if he reads this post. i mean, look at the time now.
yehh, i'm supposed to meet him tmr early; 1pm, cause gotta travel here, there, everywhere and get my stuffs. -just exaggerating a lil. haha,
in other words, i've gotta wake up as early as 11-1130am to prepare, i will try to set an alarm.
and unless he oversleeps and couldn't call me to wake me up, the timing will be postponed.
hope that he oversleeps, heh. don't kill me when you read this. (:

heard good news from bb, m really happy that he has time for me and i can meet him.
the really sad thing is i'm gonna start my school again when he books out, and i've gotta be in school and not 24/7 with him. our timing for lunch, dinner and movie are gonna be so fixed. no late night movies, and gotta have an earlier dinner than usual, and gotta wake up to have lunch [when we normally sleep thru' it].
BE POSITIVE ELI! alright, this shows he's gonna ORD real soon, 60 days more! and i shall treat that period of time as a training. cause that's what we're gonna do sooner or later after he ORD.
i'm sooooooooo psyched bout' him booking out soon yet so disappointed? that i'm gonna start my school just then. URGH!! right right, shall learn to be contented and yeh, definitely i am; just a little complains okay? heh.

anyway, as i was saying, it was mummy's birthday todayyesterday.
wanted to brought her to the indo restaurant at clarke quay initially, she wanted to have a simple dinner instead cause there are like 12 people? and she knows that i'm gonna pay and don't wanna me to spend too much. its her b'day so yeh, just gotta respect her choice.
surprised mummy [its like ah lian mumy opened the door to her new home, and no lights were switched on, i just pop out holding the cake in my hand when she's at the door and all sang a birthday song together] with a 50 year old cake and she didn't even realise [fyi, she ain' THAT old]. it was only when the candles were blown out and she realised. she ain't really surprised though, cause she EXPECTED me to buy a cake when i asked her thereafter. and it wasn't me who bought the cake, but doreen sista.
uhh okay, no pictures though. all thanks to the clever eli who did bring her digi camera yet forgetting to take photos. (: but i can tell that mummy enjoyed.
all thanks to her filial daughter, yours truly and the effort of the cousins gang and aunts. hahahha.

met up with sokwei and jun to slack awhile though i was like 99.9% DEAD? lmao. seems like ages since we last met.
they had been making the effort to call me during these few days as its my hols. i didn't make the effort to meet them though, sorry. was really busy for the whole of my hols. hope you girls understand yeh? loves.
i know, may you ask me why i'm still blogging at this hour then. cause i've gotta send the presentation slides and my script to one of my classmates to do the write-up. so just blog and i'm awake after a shower AND that always happen. -.0
i should really get some sleep now, gotta wake up in less than 8 hours time. (:

was reading storybook and gotta urge to blog.
and if ya wonder why am i blogging at this hour, yours truly is still wide awake as there is no class later on.
so as i was saying, the urge to blog. right, while waiting for my lappy to start up, i have like so many feelings -insert any emotions you please- that i wanna blog about.
yet, i'm on this posting page feeling so speechwordless. shittyyo, i know.

this random memory just flashed and appears in my mind.
when i felt uncertain bout' my behaviour and went into a super dilemma, you was just there on the phone with me telling me how you had kept a pig on your friendster and asked me to help ya to feed it when ya in camp;
you talked to me in such a baby manner and i couldn't imagine a 22 year old guy can be saying that. i think, you might be thinking that being interested in a girl who is younger than ya by 5 years gonna be in a very kiddy way yet another style of further development to ya.
lol, thinking back, it just brings me nothing but a wide wide smile on my face. silly darl ah, silly darl. heh.
once, i thought bb and i can communicate is cause he is a childish boy despite his age.
however, bb is not as childish as i had thought.
now i know how bb plans everything for me, how i don't see the way as he does, totally disagress, hot-headed vs hot-headed and always almost starting an argument. was really silly of us but i don't mind arguing though, cause bb will pamper me soon after. heh. lalalas~ scheming eh, lol.

anyway, had a GREAT yet tiring aka busy weekend,
its all bb who tolerates my temper, cheers me up and pull me thru' for the whole of this weekend.
if you ask me bout' the 'activities', i can barely remember what had i done on which particular day.
enjoyed it though, cause bb was with me all the wayy, only the part that he goes for his merc club thingy -.- @$#!*#($%*(#*$#%)# nevermind. as long as bb enjoys, nothing else matters.
almost had a false alarm and no worries, things are safe and sound now; if ya knows. >.<

i should try and get some sleep now. its hard yuhno'. sighs.
1. i miss bb's shoulders for me to lie on e'rynight.
2. i miss the way bb smells.
3. i miss the way bb 'sweats' when he's asleep.
4. i miss the way when bb fell asleep and woke up to switch off the orange lights when i'm lazy to.
5. i miss the way when i wake bb up to draw the curtains in the morning as it was really bright and disturbs my sleep.
6. i miss the loving bb whom i always turn my back on, and hugged the bolster instead of ya and on knowing that i'm giving excuses just to hug the bolster, you let me be and hug me from my back.
7. i miss the way bb ends my nights sweetly with a sweeet kiss on my forehead.
okkay, i must be crazy. the reasons why i can't sleep is cause of bb. and not just one reason, but the hell seven of them.
he's in camp and ain't here to do all thesee. and totally agree with the F/M who wrote this phrase, "fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity". lmao.
uhh, should knock some sense into miss eli. anyone? what a shithead eli is. =x

anyway, its mummy's bday today.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR! loveloveloves(: