This is my blog,
and I will bitch bout' anything I please.
You may not know me, neither do I.
Contents are fully based on personal preference.
If you feel uneasy bout' it, bye!
Best viewed in IE.

i'm bored, yeh.
didn't go work today.
and now is like still early for me.
anyway, FYI its 3:20pm right now.

what am i thinking right now:

1. i will be meeting ff for dinner later, yippee!!
2. i'm gonna meet bestie sokwei for tanning tmr, cheers!
3. i will wear my new bikini tmr.
4. baby is booking out later.
5. i received exactly 20 presents on x'mas.
6. new year is 4 days later.
7. i have had no plans for the countdown yet.
8. i have no idea what am i going to wear later on.
9. i have not yet watch mr magorium's wonder emporium.
10. my backache is killing me.
11. doreen sis just messaged me.
12. i wanna smoke.
13. wow! (i don't knowing why, just feel that way)

right,
off to buying cigg! (:

despite the dark side of fairytales,
i still, pray
for a fairytale story to fall upon me,
to clear all my doubts
and make enemy with reality.

say it a snow white story,
then a wicked witch i'm bound to meet.
showing signs of empathy,
and ate that big red apple from that witch,
which almost bring death upon me.
just a bite,
and i fall into unconscious mind.
then,
the dwarves will place me in a glass coffin,
till me destined prince charming comes for me,
and give me a kiss on my lips.
i will wake up if he is the guy for me,
and a happily ever after it will be.

or say it to be a sleeping beauty tale,
was placed under an enchanment as a gift,
by a wicked fairy.
the king forbaded spindles in the kingdom,
and up on a tower so high,
i saw a granny spinning.
was told to try the unfamiliar task,
and all the king's effort had been in vain.
the inevitable happened,
and i fall into a deep sleep.
a hundred years later,
my true love will come for me,
and a true love's kiss to come with him.
i will wake up if he is the guy for me,
and a happily after it will be.

then,
i will be a good girl,
and accept what destiny had planned for me.
i will kiss goodbye to all doubts and reality,
that's how i will want my life to be.
i will embrace my happiness with a hug,
and that's how my life will be.

i have so many complaints to rant,
if i were given a choice to list out all,
it will take ages.
one sentence to summarize up all,
i missed my singlehood life.
not mentioning the feelings that i have,
i wanna lead my life myself.
i don't wanna any restrictions,
just wanna do whatever i want,
and make myself happy.
(:

you,
there could never be one like you,
you gives me everything that i need,
but why, will i feel this way now?
you you,
never tried to tell me what to do,
the one that really makes me feels so good.
i really can't decide,
what i want in my life.
if i really could decide,
i still can't make up mind.
i'm breaking all my rules b'cos of you, you.
when you, you tells me its not right,
it tears me up inside.
i really don't know what to do.

time, i have given you enough,
chances, i have given you again and again,
heartaches, you caused me,
after all,
looooooove, is no longer how i feel,
this is the last chance i'm giving you.
don't tell me,
baby one more try,
once its meant to be over,
it will be.




lastly,
I WANNA TANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for the whole seventeen years of my life,
i'm being fooled,
by fairytales and happy endings.
i always tell my friends,
i'm always dreaming of a fairytale life,
happiness and happy endings,
no saddness.
today, i realised,
fairytales do not have happy endings.

take ariel, the little mermaid for example.
yes, she exchanged her beautiful voice,
with ursala, the sea witch, for a pair of legs.
ariel will only have her voice back,
when the prince kissed her.
ariel will die if the prince marries another.
sad to say,
eric, the prince, did not marry her.
the prince marry another princess,
whom he thought was his savior.
when dawn breaks,
she jumped into the sea.
her body turns to sea foam,
and instead of ceasing to exist,
she turns into a spirit,
and became a daughter of air.
yes, the main thing is,
she died and she did not marry the prince.
and this is the original story,
the ending was changed because,
the original ending ain't suitable for kids consumption.

sighs.
is everything fated?
fated that i'm supposed to know all this now,
at this time, when i'm feeling so confused.
the very girl,
whom always longed for a fairytale relationship,
was disappointed and shocked,
by the truth of fairytales.
the dark facts about fairytales,
sucks.
but whatever,
i will still hang on the hope,
of a fairytale relationship.

the voice in my mind,
is telling me to go on.
the voice in my heart,
is diverting me off.
when i close my eyes and feel,
recollections of sweet memory is all i knew.
thou negative comments were given,
i choose to trust.
reflecting on every occasions,
i realise those events seems so true,
my judgement seems to be wrong too.
soon,
disappointment is all i reared.

once,
everything seems and feels so true,
now,
i start to wonder is this really you.
the mr nice guy whom i had once know,
seems to change as we grow.
impression seems to change,
and i wonder if i'm really wrong.
the good and the bad i can no longer differ,
i thought i'm in love.
was it just some other puppy love,
when everything feels so real.
decision is a need,
and i know regrets will soon appear.
then,
i fear;
those blades to be my peer.

got hurt once,
got hurt twice.
how many more to go?

riiight.
i know,
that comments will be said,
and tongues will be wagging,
after this post.
arrogant people.

i don't know,
if this is what i want.
or rather to say,
i don't know what i want at all.
thoughts are running wild,
and i'm afraid to decide.
a fair decision made,
will turn people insane.
i don't know what can be done,
and a promise had been made.
a promise,
that i should never ever make.
i fear regrets,
and fear that my decision will turn against me one day.
should i just persevere,
or should i challenge for a change?
i'm seriously confused,
i don't wanna hurt anyone.
neither do i like being constrain.
people are selfish,
i don't bear to be.
tears,
those tenderizers.

what can i do?
what i desire?
what i really want?
i don't know.
in a dilemma,
again.

riiiiiiiiiiiight.
there are like so many movies i wanna watch.
i wanna watch the shows ASAP!

movies i wanna watch:
1. alvin and the chipmunks.
2. the golden compass.
3. mr magorium's wonder emporium.
4. good luck chuck.
5. the warlords.
6. the heartbreak kid.

but i don't think we have the time.
yeh, i mean we,
and that means,
i'm gonna watch with him.
so, i hafta wait for him.
firstly,
he is in camp,
and will only be out on weekends.
secondly,
almost all the shows i wanna watch start screening on the same date.
thirdly,
i'm working.

wonder when then can i watch all those movies.
its so unlike me.
in the past,
i managed to watch all the new movies within a week.
now,
its like taking me ages to watch finish the movies.
i was once a movie freak alright.
and now,
i'm like a movie moutain turtle.
wahaahaas.
well,
i understand.
its cause my boyfriend needs to stay in camp.

P.Eli miss P.Cheryl real bad,
promised to meet up soon when i'm free yeh?
i know that P.Cheryl will understand, loves.

chalet?
yeh, pictures. (:
for the trip one, still waiting for geena to send them to me.

if an earlier step had been taken,
things won't turn out in this way.
if feelings were made clear,
misunderstandings won't happen.
if actions were shown,
the story will change.
there are so many ifs i can say,
there are so many ifs i can think of.
but those ain't reality.
and what if,
all my ifs had happened,
will i still be feeling this way right now,
will i still be thinking of all the ifs?
seriously, i don't know.
but for the very least,
i know;
if all my ifs had happened,
i won't have to tolerate.

just wanna things to be how it was in the past.
simple yet sweet.
memories.
yeh, memories.
i missed those memories,
in actual fact,
i miss my life.

cab operators' association says,
"takings of drivers have fallen by about $800 a month." (quoted from TODAY papers.)
that's the reason why taxi meter rates are increasing.
another reason is cause the price of diesel and ERP had also increased.
i understand that it is tough for the cab uncles to support their family if the meter prices remains.
the problem is,
cab companies are having a high rental rate and,
the situation is no longer like before.
in the past, cab uncles can own and have their own cabs.
now, the companies take the cabs back from them and renting them at a high rate.
if cab companies reduce the rental rate of their cabs,
the cab uncles will be able to survive.
so why are the cab companies pushing the responsiblity to us?
as a frequent cabber on weekdays,
i have to pay for the meter increase and including the ERP.
won't it be a bomb? sighs.

and talking about the chalet and kaiyun's bday celebration tmr,
i thought i can go ky's bday before going to the chalet.
but now,
everything is so fucked up.
the adults just can't take us into consideration.
doing things on their own ways,
and make us in the difficult position.
when we come up with a good solution amongst ourselves,
the adults don't agree
and insist on doing things their own way.
and still want the same expectations from us.
selfish and unreasonable.
just hoping that this chalet will turn out well.
and hope all the drinking sessions will have a good and nice ending.

relationship,
a connection or an involvement.
relationship between alvin and me,
its a connection or an involvement between us,
not involving any others,
nevertheless to say, comments are not needed.
concerns are appreciated,
but i'm contented with the way it is.
just wanna emphasise,
this is my relationship.

was really affected by the comments,
but a happypill in need is a happypill indeed.
cheered me up with something sweet!
thanks jos! (:

well, back to my purpose of blogging,
preparation for the upcoming chalet is so messed up.
end work at different time yet wanna check together.
barbeque on the first night and,
ff kaiyun is celebrating her b'day on friday.
i wanna go cause i know my presence matters,
but it is my family chalet i'm talking about.
mummy and cousins won't be happy if i reached the chalet late.
and i have nephew ivan to look after.
goodness, important outings are packed on the same day.

anyway, i reached office at 3 today
and i'm gonna go for dinner with sw and happypill.
yum yummy!

once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived;
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all others, including Love.
the island was called Emotions.

one day, Knowledge announced to all the other feelings that
Emotions will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
so, all the feelings built their own boats and prepared to leave.
Love stayed on Emotions,
she wanted to preserve the island till' the last possible moment.
when Emotions was almost totally under the ocean,
Love decided that it was time to leave.

Sadness passed by and Love said,
"Sadness, please let me go with you."
"Love, i'm sorry. i need to be alone now," replied Sadness.
Love saw Happiness next and she cried,
"Happiness, please take me with you."
however, Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.
Love began to cry.
"come Love, i'll take you with me."
Love was overjoyed and felt so blessed that she forgot to ask for his name.
when they arrived on land, he went his way.

Love realised that she did not know who her benefactor was.
just then, Love saw Knowledge and asked,
"who was it that helped me?"
Knowledge replied," it was time."
"but why will he helped me when no one else would?"
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom, he answered,
"because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

well, i know i'm crapping away but i'm bored.
gonna smoke and soon, i will leave here,
it'll be time for home sweet home then!
(:

wohoooooo!
i'm late for work today, again.
reached office around 11plus.
got to know a new friend, edmund.
very friendly indeed. (:
and i'm gonna go off early later, gonna acc him cos he is going back camp soooooon.
yeh, he stayed over my place ytd and he sent me to work today. yippee!

craving for jap food. yum yum yummy!
lalalalalas~ off to work people. (: