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and I will bitch bout' anything I please.
You may not know me, neither do I.
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good morning.
oh god and yes,
im still up at this unearthly hour despite the lack of sleep for the past few days.
my eyes can barely open yet i still dont wanna head to bed.
despite heading to bed at 3 in the morning and an early day at 8,
its hard falling asleep.
this had been the cycle recently,
and i totally ve no idea whats going on.

im not in my best of moods,
i get upset at the slightest thing.
yeh, upset; angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, pissed.
i thought, maybe, for the first time,
i was pmsing.
this had been going on for a while,
and im def too young to have menopause.

those crazy thoughts,
those absurd dreams, or nightmares,
brought me tears and fears.
waking up with tears,
it def dont sound pleasing t anyone's ears.
its scary, really.
everything seems to be going haywire for me,
i dont know.

nothing makes sense,
nothing sounds logical.
i cant piece it out, word by word.
i cant phrase it, i cant explain it.
i dont know how, i really dont.
i wished i knew.
i couldnt control my tears and my fears,
for i dont even know the roots of it.
everything dont piece up,
its all random.

i really wished,
i could piece everything out.
i really wanted to,
as there seems to be tons of stuffs bottling up,
inside me, in my heart, i can feel.
but i just cant.
every breath that i take,
is heavy and with difficulty.

Friend A dumped his girlf,
and that had invited trouble.
the only way to resolved this,
was that Friend B hafta die in A's behalf.
B helped A.
B is alive in the coffin,
knowing that he's gonna be cremated the next day.
there we were,
sitting around the coffin,
knowing that B is alive in there.
all those while, i kept my head low,
fearing to look up.
C was B's girlf,
C was there too,
and she appeared to be the normal her.
deep down, i wondered how she felt.
deep down, i hate A,
for B took up the responsibility for A's actions.

this was what i dreamt of earlier during my nap.
im not kidding!
and i have random and weird dreams liddat.
when i say random,
it really means random as things dont piece up when i put everything together.

im going crazy, am i?
tell me whats going on.
its scaryy.
no joke, im scared.