Saturday, October 17, 2009
good morning.
oh god and yes,
im still up at this unearthly hour despite the lack of sleep for the past few days.
my eyes can barely open yet i still dont wanna head to bed.
despite heading to bed at 3 in the morning and an early day at 8,
its hard falling asleep.
this had been the cycle recently,
and i totally ve no idea whats going on.
im not in my best of moods,
i get upset at the slightest thing.
yeh, upset; angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, pissed.
i thought, maybe, for the first time,
i was pmsing.
this had been going on for a while,
and im def too young to have menopause.
those crazy thoughts,
those absurd dreams, or nightmares,
brought me tears and fears.
waking up with tears,
it def dont sound pleasing t anyone's ears.
its scary, really.
everything seems to be going haywire for me,
i dont know.
nothing makes sense,
nothing sounds logical.
i cant piece it out, word by word.
i cant phrase it, i cant explain it.
i dont know how, i really dont.
i wished i knew.
i couldnt control my tears and my fears,
for i dont even know the roots of it.
everything dont piece up,
its all random.
i really wished,
i could piece everything out.
i really wanted to,
as there seems to be tons of stuffs bottling up,
inside me, in my heart, i can feel.
but i just cant.
every breath that i take,
is heavy and with difficulty.
Friend A dumped his girlf,
and that had invited trouble.
the only way to resolved this,
was that Friend B hafta die in A's behalf.
B helped A.
B is alive in the coffin,
knowing that he's gonna be cremated the next day.
there we were,
sitting around the coffin,
knowing that B is alive in there.
all those while, i kept my head low,
fearing to look up.
C was B's girlf,
C was there too,
and she appeared to be the normal her.
deep down, i wondered how she felt.
deep down, i hate A,
for B took up the responsibility for A's actions.this was what i dreamt of earlier during my nap.
im
not kidding!
and i have random and weird dreams liddat.
when i say random,
it really means random as things dont piece up when i put everything together.
im going crazy, am i?
tell me whats going on.
its scaryy.
no joke, im scared.
5:04:00 AM