This is my blog,
and I will bitch bout' anything I please.
You may not know me, neither do I.
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it seems like im a souless creature,
im less bothered bout' anything.

the irritating and sickening pretenders around me,
ive so much t bitch.
but i can't find any appropriate descriptive words to let it all out!

all those things that i know of and hear,
im wary, and trying v hard to be cautious.
its all cause i dont wanna risk any ifs as ive experienced them, seen them and feel them.
its tiring to be sooooo self-conscious,
and i hate it.

yikes at the thoughts of those smiles, laughters, everything in all.

i learnt, i tried to keep up,
being a pretender.
its hard and i thought,
an impossible task for me.
but well, i think i did it?
i long for the day when im capable of being immune to those feelings; guilt, disgusted w self, lousy, bad and all those nasty feelings ya can think of.
but, will i like myself then,
when im alr starting to detest for being who i am now?

when i did nothing,
you wanna me to try.
when i try,
you wanna me to try harder.
and when i had tried harder,
its still not enough.
it will never be.

i no longer know me.
but i know you love what you had created.