solacement

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Right, September was indeed a long and awful one.

Just the very day after the previous post was posted,
bad news on management issues had been told.
Oh wells, it is still a 50-50 thingy now.
If it all work out, it would be great!
Else, I really have no idea what should I do.
I had been really looking forward to next year,
as I can follow up my current batch of kiddos,
and I can take them for kinder twos next year.
And Michael love would be in my class too.
From N2s to kinderones and then, kinder twos;
wouldn't that be nice and complete?
But I doubt I can survive through the management issues if it don't turn out as how I wished.

I fell terribly sick for quite a couple of days due to food poisoning.
Was 'bedridden' and down with MC for 4 days before my trip to Phuket.
Apparently, I would only move out from my bed whenever I needed the toilet.
And I was having diarrhea during that point of time.
Luckily, I was kinda getting well for Phuket.
If not, I doubt mummy would let me go.
All's fine when I got back from Phuket and headed to work the next day.
Then, at night, this time,
I started to vomit again.
Went to the doctor and the idiotic doctor wouldn't give me a jab to ease the vomitings,
uh huh, I was that desperate to stop vomiting as I had been vomiting throughout the night.
Same reason, food poisoning. Boohoho. :(
This time, MC for 2 days.
So, except for a day and a half at work,
I had been absent from work for about 2 weeks
AND THAT IS FRIGGIN' LONG!
I miss my kiddos HELL LOTSA~

Concert's over and Im super proud of my K Boys dance.
As 4-6 years olds, they had managed to bring out the cool style in hiphop dance.
And we got whistling for that. WEE!
They totally rock the hall!
Looking at Shane graduating, the only boy left from my first class,
it is definitely not easy.
Although I know that it is part and parcel of my job to deal with children graduating,
this would be the FIRST time that a kid whom I had taught (two years outta my 2 1/2 years of teaching) is leaving.
Used to be sucha stubborn spoilt brat,
now, he is a big kor kor and the sweetest gentle~~man~~ boy on earth.
He would def melt countless girls' heart when he grows up.
Gonna miss miss miss miss miss him.

Upcomings:

1. Cousin's wedding over the weekend
2. Two research papers due in November and had tons of readings to do as I would need it for my literature.
3. Joanne and Qatar
4. Management Final Results
5. I wanna go Halloween @ Night Safari!
6. I wanna go Halloween Partyy!

12:52:00 AM

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

So many things, so little time.

It is only mid September and Im dead beat.

So far, this September has been so eventful;

from birthdays to Barney show with Asher love,

upcoming Hari Raya visitings to my colleagues' place and dinner out with Cayden love who's back for visit after migrating to Perth last December,

learning of baking mooncakes from my aunt,

THREE assignments due in Sept and,

Joanne leaving to Qatar with her hubby.

All in all, the best thing which is gonna happen in Sept is Cayden love's visit from Perth on the 17th.

I haven't seen that boy for close to a year!

His mommy is gonna bring him back to learning seeds for a day care to catch up with his friends and Im gonna bring him for dinner thereafter along with the other two musketeers.

The next best thing is bringing Asher out for Barney.

Awww. Sept is a month to be with my babies!

I should bring Michael love out sooon!

Right.

Work's been a total shit.

Responsibilities and workload have been piling up,

and so does the stress level.

But why ain't the pay going up? Haa, trying to be funny.

Concert in October, and tons of stuffs to do.

Joanne's resignation is gonna bring us more unnecessary work by boss.

Parents' trust in me, even thou' the child ain't in my class.

Caught in between tasks given by boss and complaints from colleagues.

Severely under-paid without complaints was cus' we had a good leader.

I know I can get paid a few hundreds more or even a k more if I were to venture elsewhere with my given qualifications and experiences.

I wanna see my kinderones off to kindertwos, and then to primary level.

I want to cus' I get to take my kinderones for kindertwos next year!

But but but, with the given stress and workload which is def gonna pile up,

I really wonder how far I can go in this centre,

how long more I can be here when I dont see any potential future.

Hopefully, Sept turns out to be good,

and with the upcoming deadlines for my assignment,

I doubt so.

10:55:00 PM

Monday, September 13, 2010

I thought, it would be different. Seems like I'm wrong.

Cayden love would be the best thing that happen. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

4:58:00 PM

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something call wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you will all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy!

Every abortion is just...
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Adapted from: http://www.iloveyoumommy-abortion.blogspot.com

9:20:00 PM

Monday, August 30, 2010

Gosh. It feels like a little girl with her puppy love thingy once again.

Somehow, it feels like old times aye? Heheheh.

I do find this re-acquaintance quite interesting.

I can't stop laughing over it and thinking about it.

After trying so hard for two years,

your puppy heart was broken in less than two weeks.

It was all puppy love,

but it ended rather nastily.

And now, purely friends once again.

How interesting and cool it is.

Yep, it was just puppy love,

but the feeling of being re-acquainted with X still,

its amazing.

11:38:00 PM

Monday, August 16, 2010

madness.
the work just cant stop piling up.
done with this, another module in a few days time.

cant wait for a break.
plans in mind:
1) resorts world sentosa
2) one degree, suggested by G's dad.
3) phuket

CANT WAIT! <3

11:47:00 PM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

tm, wdistoy?

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6:00:00 AM